Thinking Too Much, Living Too Little

What if the problem isn’t the memory— but the silence? Don’t dig up the dead,” a patient told me. He meant it like wisdom. A line he’d been given before. And I get why people cling to it: If you don’t touch it, maybe it can’t hurt you. But here’s what I see again and…

I judged him within the first ten seconds. I got into his Uber and it looked like a rolling Batcave — Batman figurines hanging from the dashboard, stickers everywhere, a small superhero guarding the rearview mirror like he owned the city. My first thought? Childish. A grown man driving around town with action figures. I…

You browse directories and see profiles stacked with abbreviations, Master’s degrees, and PhDs. It’s natural to think: “The more titles they have, the better they can help me.” But here is a truth supported by clinical research: a wall full of diplomas is not a guarantee that someone can help you specifically. Don’t get me…

There was a time when I deeply idealized a colleague of mine—an Argentine psychoanalyst who seemed to have it all. She struck me as brilliant and confident, possessing an intellectual presence that commanded instant respect. I remember visiting her home—elegant, understated, and worlds apart from the financial uncertainty I was living at the time. To…

“I know logically that I shouldn’t let this get to me, but I’m spiraling,” or “I understand the cultural differences perfectly—so why am I still so angry?” Does that sound familiar? I hear this constantly in my practice. Many of us are capable, intelligent people. We’ve navigated a move to Mexico, handled visas, built careers,…

Many of us grew up with the belief that family comes first. Whether it shows up as guilt-laden messages from back home or the strong familismo culture we encounter here – where there’s usually no limits! – , the message often sounds the same: stay quiet, tolerate the intrusion, don’t make things uncomfortable. We tend…